Slowly but surely

I spoke with my patient advocate on Monday and she has finally received all my paperwork. I am now scheduled for a consultation with the surgeon and my nutrition class both on the 12th. Once all that is done then to get my surgery scheduled, start my pre-op diet and then the band. Not sure how much longer I can wait, as I mentioned before I am not a patient person.

 I did speak to her about me already losing weight and how I was concerned about not being approved because of it. She was impressed that I was already devoted to losing weight and said as long as my BMI is over 35 I should be good and it will be based on my Monday appointment and weigh in. So in gluttonous fashion I have sacrificed nutrition for a few days to ensure that I am still 'fat' enough for surgery, never thought I would say that. My kids are loving this last burst of greasy indulgence because I have warned them several times that once I am banded we will no longer have take out, deliver or drive through- so today we enjoyed pizza for lunch and then fast food burgers and fries for dinner and homemade oatmeal cookies along with left over Halloween candy. I actually had to force myself to eat, never really had to do that before.

I realize that my starting weight is lower than many of you and I hope you do not think that I am taking for granted that I have lost weight without the band, but I know that this loss is merely temporary and for me to be truly successful and keep it off and to become healthy I need the band.

My goal is to be healthy- ridding myself of my blood pressure and diabetic medicine and my sleep buddy the dreaded C-PAP machine and to feel comfortable in my own skin- I am not looking for a specific size or weight I just want to look good, be confident in who I am and to love myself.

Thank you all for your encouraging words as I start this journey- I hope you will stick around for all the ups and downs- I know I can do this- and with all your encouragement and inspiration I WILL DO THIS.