OK, so I am very fortunate that I have been a stay at home mom for almost 4 years now to my daughter and I was also a SAHM back when my boys were babies. I love my job though the hours and pay sucks. I don't get much "me time" or adult time and I accept this. This was my choice- I'm not complaining- yet. In a previous post I mentioned that my husband is a recovering alcoholic. He goes to work comes home and usually goes to the bedroom to relax for a while then off to a meeting he goes only to come home after his meeting to eat dinner watch some TV and then off to bed.... so all in all he is in "dad mode" for about an hour or so, whereas I am on call for 24 hours a day. But still I'm not complaining- yet. I am happy that he is going to meetings- before he would be passed out in the recliner and not an active part of our family. I know that as time goes by he will be able to cope better and will not need to attend meetings on a daily basis.
now to my complaint- I know you've been waiting on pins and needles. This evening my children were being, well for lack of a better word- children. My boys were wrestling causing the dog to bark, my daughter was running around shrieking and laughing taunting our other dog. I during this time am sitting on my couch- TV off enjoying my mindless search on the Internet trying to find peace and quiet... no luck. My husband comes home about that time, fixes himself a plate for dinner (his meeting is the same time as our normal dinner time), grabs the remote turns on the TV to a volume level that makes me cringe and then complains that its too loud in the house and that he would like to come home to a quiet house once in a while.... uh, excuse me!?!? A quiet house? Keep dreaming! To keep from starting an argument all I could do was roll my eyes and go back to my computer. He did apologize but still- does he not think I would like to have some quiet time. (my quiet time is after everyone is in bed making for a late bedtime). And to top things off I am PMS'ing with monster hunger and tomorrow I get my first fill so somewhere inside my cluttered, noisy, irritable, nervous brain I decided to eat... not a lot and nothing considered "bad" but I had already reached my calorie limit for the day and then I go and fix myself a small plate of left overs and eat a corn bread muffin along with some other grazing of sweet items that I could scrounge up. Not much to choose from since I try not to buy that stuff anymore. But still.
OK, I think I'm done- sorry about my ranting babble, it was either type it out or eat more and then feel horrible later.
thanks for reading.
You, my dear, have a lot on your shoulders. We have used food as our coping mechanism our whole lives, so don't beat yourself up for reverting to that behavior. It will even happen again. But think how different it was this time. Good luck with finding quiet time, I think that is when they go to college. I so relate with you on the "adult time". When I worked, I had friends. Now that I have time for friends, I am at home with my son most of the time. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteI love my alone time too and can totally relate. I understand its hard. Hang in there and keep your chin up. I look forwars to everyones bed time too. Including the hubby. You are doing great!
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