Monday, April 14, 2014

hello?.. is this thing on?....

I can not believe how long it has been since I last posted let alone read anyone else's post and it shows- I have lost all motivation and accountability and its my own stupid fault- I could come up with some good excuses but they are just that, excuses- but I am back, at lease this is my plan.

Let me try to recap the last 6ish months, whoa, has it been that long? wowzers.
OK so I had my one year bandaversary in November and was at my goal weight of 145, I was doing good, feeling good and getting cocky- I figured that I had survived the first year, made it to my goal and I got lazy. Now we all know that the holidays are a struggle for all food addicts and of course when I needed accountability and motivation the most is when I totally fell off the radar. I held my own pretty well until about January when my allergies got the best of me and I had to have some fluid taken out because I was too tight...Well the weather in Vegas changes at the drop of a hat and pretty soon I was loose- and eating way more than I know I should have. I noticed the scale was moving in the wrong direction- and I kept saying to myself, 'I'm ok as long as I don't go past 150... then I changed to 155. Well to add insult to injury I had about 2 weeks where I couldn't get anything down- between allergies and my monthly I was having stuck moments left and right, deep down I was thinking, woohoo restriction! then I realized I hadn't had real food in close to a week, then it got to a scary point where I couldn't even get water down- I was dehydrated and ended up having to have more fluid taken out on a Saturday. Well the little bit of wight I had lost due to being too tight came right back and brought friends, lots of them- and again I kept telling myself I was good as long as I didn't go over 155, then 160 and now I am at the point of not going over 165. I am not happy with myself or my lack of will power and my over abundance of confidence that was sabotaging my efforts. I have an appointment to get a much needed fill tomorrow (I think right now I have about 3cc in my 10 cc band), and as much as I want to get back all the restriction I once had and get back into my size 6 pants I know that I have to play by the rules and take my time- it is not a marathon.

Other than the weight gain I have been busy being the PTA president at my daughters school- I really enjoy it and have thought about going back to school to get my associates so that I can become a substitute teacher. I am also getting pretty active in my church- I have the honor of working in the office on the 1st Sunday of the month for attendance and working in with the 2 and 3 year olds on the second Sunday of the month. If I had more energy I would be in the choir but the rehearsals are on Wednesdays after Bible study and by the time we get out of our study, collect the kids and get home it is bedtime so perhaps I'll join at a later time.

Well that's all for now- Thanks for stopping by, I hope you have a blessed day and I promise not to be a stranger.