Accountablity sucks....

I have been pretty good at logging all my food choices since my surgery -  the good and not so good but the past 3 days I have slacked off mainly because I was grazing and couldn't keep track of what I ate, that and I didn't want to face reality. But I'm back on the band-wagon and have been good today but I am HUNGRY. I don't get my first fill until the 11th and I know that I need one- desperately!
In good news I got on the scale this morning and I am still in onderland in fact I'm down a pound -  (198.8) my official weigh in day is actually on Tuesday (picked that day because my surgery fell on a Tuesday) so hopefully I will still be there if not lower. My main issue is actually getting off my butt and onto my treadmill but my kids are home all day because they are on winter break and they are gathered in the room that my treadmill is in with their friends... makes it hard to get in there... I know- excuses, excuses.
Ok, my goal is to get on there tonight when the friends have all gone home and I can have control of the TV. I will keep with this trend through their break and then back to my morning routine when they get back to school... wow, I think I have a plan! Now to see if I can hold to it.
Now if only someone would finish off the pie's left over from Christmas because they are yelling my name.

Merry Christmas- weigh in day

My Christmas present to myself is being in Onderland! I stepped on the scale for my official weigh in this morning and I an 199.6! I will take it (damn TOM showed up a week early and

Seminar in May: around 225
Day of surgery: 215.8
week 1 post op: 207.6
week 2 post op: 204.2
week 3 post op: 202.6
week 4 post op: 199.2

Slowly but surely I am getting healthier and thinner - trying not to get too discouraged that I am not losing faster and have to remind myself that I didn't gain it all in one day and I won't lose it all in one day either.

thanks for reading and Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all and from me a vent

Hello and Merry Christmas out there to those of you who stop by and read this.
I need to vent for a bit- so please bear with me. First off my husband who I love and cherish is a recovering alcoholic- sober since July of this year. I didn't realize how bad off he was until he started in AA. Well for the past 3 years the holidays have been ho-humm for him. He was hoping that this year with his sobriety he would be in better spirits but sadly he's still in a holiday funk, it doesn't help that he decided to stop taking his antidepressant a week or so ago....I know, right. I am glad that he has come to terms with his addiction and is getting back to the man that I fell in love with all those years ago but when you know that the holidays depress you why would you intentionally stop taking a medication that might help you through the holidays?!?!?
Tonight we were at his mothers for Christmas eve dinner and presents for the kids and he spent the majority of the time sitting like a bump on a log only moving a bit to take pictures. I can't help but feel alone during this time because he is either in a meeting or trying to deal with his depression without the aid of alcohol. Because of his funk and the fact that I can't really do anything to help I have found myself eating - not as bad as I did before surgery but tonight I ate a sinful desert made tonight by my mother in law and then while baking and decorating cookies tonight  with the kids I ended up eating at least 4 cookies smothered in frosting and sprinkled with sugar. They tasted soo good but now I feel sick, I am not used to eating sugar and am angry that I couldn't handle my frustration with my husband in a different way. I know that if I keep doing this I will slid back down that slippery slope that I had gone down before hindering my weight loss in the past.
Sorry to have thrown that out there but I figured it is better to blog about it rather than eat my feelings.

Merry Christmas Adam

...aka Christmas eve's eve. I hope that everyone is have a wonderful holiday season with family and friends.
I will be 4 weeks post op on Christmas. I am doing pretty good- teeter tottering between 199 and 200, so close to permanent membership in "onederland"- Merry Christmas to me.
I have been getting my protein in and working on my liquids (still having a few issues with that). I was getting in a walk everyday on the "dreadmill" but I started feeling a lot of discomfort in my port area- is that normal this far out from surgery? It feels like a pinching under this skin- not a very pleasant feeling that's for sure. Not sure if I overdid something or if this is normal so if you have any ideas please let me know. I don't go in for a fill until the 11th of January so I will find out if I did something stupid and tweaked it or if its just normal.
Speaking of fills, I'm kinda excited that I will be able to enjoy Christmas dinner (in moderation) along with my hubby's and my 16th anniversary dinner (in moderation). I am starting to feel more hungry now and though I know I can pretty much eat anything right now I am choosing not to and am trying to keep to the rules, small portions, lots of chewing and no drinking while eating.
We went to a Christmas party last night and I avoided the pizza, chips, crackers and cookies like the plague but I did enjoy cheese and deli meats with a few of those pinwheel roll ups with the meat and cheese in it but I did not eat the tortilla it was wrapped in. Oh and I did have 1 cookie... it was my first baked good since surgery and I enjoyed every bite and logged everything on MFP, then today I ate half of a chocolate Santa...bad bandster I know but it was so tasty and sweet I got a little sugar buzz from it and it wasn't all that big.
Sorry for my ramblings and inconstancy but thanks for reading.

3 week post op tomorrow

It was 3 weeks ago tomorrow that I made a change in my life and got my band- I am so glad that I did.
I am paying more attention to my body and its cues and what my triggers really are. I have actually told myself "no I'm not hungry, I'm bored" and walked out of the kitchen without snacking.
My husband has noticed the weight loss and so have I, my face is starting to thin down a little; I just can't wait till I have just One chin.
My surgery day weight was 215.8 today I am 202.6 - I did start on "chewable foods" already; according to my doctors office I was supposed to wait until i was 3 weeks post op but I wanted "real" food- to me that meant tuna salad and baked chicken- I took small bites, took my time and didn't drink anything while eating (harder than I thought).
My boys (twins) had their 11th birthday last week so in honor of that we let them decide what we would eat on Saturday night- so off to Red Robin we went. I shocked my husband when I ordered a grilled turkey burger without the bun and a side of steamed broccoli... it was pretty tasty. Then on Sunday they had their birthday party, I avoided the chips and crackers but did eat some cheese and meats with a few carrots (that was my lunch) and a small sliver of cake- I made it so I "had" to eat some to make sure it tasted good. (and it did- home made ice cream cake) But I have kept myself accountable and logged everything I've eaten and all my workouts on myfitnesspal.com
Speaking of workouts I should get off my duff and get on my treadmill.
thanks for reading.

2 weeks post op

Today I am 2 weeks post op. Nothing too exciting to report. I was 215 on the day of my surgery and today I am 204.2; I'll take it!

I did have a little plateau when I introduced soft mushies to my meals but I have now started walking and felling much better about my progress. Just a matter of getting into a rhythm.

Speaking of mushies, what kind did you eat? I'm still doing my protein shakes, greek yogurt, soups and re fried beans... but I getting a bit burnt out- any suggestions? One more week till I can have chewable foods again... can't wait.

I did take my kids to a birthday party this past weekend; it was filled with the typical fatty sugary goodness that I love- pizza, chips and cake and I didn't have a single crumb. Normally I would have bellied up to the table and have at lease 3 slices of pizza and a piece of cake, with numerous cups of soda but I planned ahead and brought a protein shake- not as tasty but more satisfying knowing I was doing this for me.

wound check and other stuff

Tomorrow will mark one week since my surgery and all is well. I have finally been able to get past the protein shake blahs- amazing what a difference almond milk can make.
I was supposed to go in today for my wound check at 1:45 today but when I called to confirm they said that it had been canceled because my surgery had been canceled.... uhh, nope- been poked, prodded and banded and have the scars, bruising and pain to prove it. So now I have an appointment at 3:30 for the wound check and whatever else they may have in store for me and I will find out what this whole canceled thing is about.
My wonderful husband has been home with me since my surgery to help with the kids and cooking and everything else that I do... he is definitely learning that I do not just sit upon my expanding posterior all day. But as sweet as it is I am ready for him to go back to work.
Anyways, according to my scale I have dropped 9 pounds even since surgery- not bad, mainly water weight but I'll take it.