Monday, June 10, 2013

Monday Motivation

I have been avoiding my blog because of my own stupidity. Not that I am stupid, but my actions an lack of action have been pretty much off the charts.
Last week started out ok; I had a good weigh in and was in the right frame of mind then TOM's friend PMS showed up and threw me for a loop. All I wanted was food and I ate just about everything in sight. It doesn't help that last week I had a slight un-fill to help  me be better at getting more meats in... well it has allowed everything else in too.
I did slow down enough to take the kids to the pool on Friday- it was a scorching 105 out and it was much needed- thankfully TOM waited until Saturday to make an appearance.
On Saturday, knowing that I was needing a break from the kids and the house the hubs insisted that I go out and just do what ever I wanted- so I did... I went to Savers, its a kind of thrift store here in town and got myself a few new shirts, then over to Sears where I got a new bra (38DD) I still have boobs they have just fallen and can't get up. I did try on a few dresses that were super cute and summery but  the large was too tight in the bust and the XL was too big so I didn't get it. After that sausage stuffing experience I wasn't done yet I headed over to Ross and tried on several more dresses - not a damn one I liked or looked good in so nothing purchased then as I was driving home feeling all fat and bloated I realized that's why nothing felt right, I WAS all fat and bloated so that thought kept me from jumping off the nearest cliff. As I was driving home I realized I was hungry, not just hungry but blood sugar low hungry- I needed something soon so off to MickyDs...my intention was to get a fruit and yogurt parfait... yeah by the time I got to order I had long since forgot about that and ordered a snack size M&M mcflurry... then had to wait 20 mins in the drive through line... I think karma did that on purpose.... Next time I will avoid fast food and get something healthy or make sure to plan ahead. It wasn't a horrible day in fact it was nice until I went to use my microwave and it had died... that's when my hormones went on a rampage.
I finished off Saturday night by getting in bed early but then staying up on the computer... not smart. Stayed up too late and was woken up too early by the princess... not a good way to start the day. The boys and the hubs all slept in making me very jealous and bitter. At 10a I was slamming doors and making sure they all knew mommy was up and not happy and if mommy's not happy ain't nobody happy.
By noon I was seething and it didn't help that hubs was asleep in the recliner as I played referee to my kids. Finally nap time- I was so happy until the hubs decided to take a nap too, taking up the majority of the bed- I lost it. Between the pain from the cramps and the lack of sleep I went off - I mean serious emotions running all over rampage- I was tired, cranky, bitchy, hungry, bloated and a few other dwarfs. I totally went off on my husband for his lack off appreciation of all I do he just sat back and let me scream and cry and then held me and sent me to bed. I got up feeling a little better then later that night I lost it again but this time my aim was at my kids... no one was safe the animals hid outside knowing they were next.
This morning I woke up and felt a little bit more like myself and ended up taking my kids to CiCi's pizza as an "I'm sorry I was a total basket case". If you don't know what CiCi's is it is a pizza buffet- they do have salad but I avoided that and had several pieces of pizza followed by some desert slices and brownies. I know that wasn't the best thing to do- I am trying hard not to fix things with food... It never worked for my mom when I was a kid.
Now here it is almost a week from my last post and I have binged on crap and avoided exercise and I know I will see a gain tomorrow - no I'm not happy about my food choices and lack of movement but I'm human and I get a new chance to do better everyday- and that's what I'm going to do. I will get back up dust the cookie crumbs off my shirt, strap on my shoes and get moving.
I hope that you have had a good start to the week and if you haven't that's ok you get a new chance tomorrow.
Thanks for stopping by.