weigh in day!

Got on the scale this morning and had to do a  double take even a third take then had to take a picture so that I could give the scale a break- another 3 pounds gone bringing me to 173.8- I have lost over 40 pounds since surgery. Now working on 50 - working at 10 pound goals at a time.

Happy Tuesday- hope you have a great day.

motivational monday

I have been having a hard time with emotional eating lately so this is my motivation for this week.

Hope you're off to a great start to the week. Thanks for stopping by. 

 

Been a hellofa week

I have mentioned in past posts that my husband is a recovering alcoholic. He did most of his drinking at home and was never abusive.He would drink and then pass out either on the couch or in the room and then after the kids were in bed I would eat out of loneliness. Having grown up in an alcoholic household this was the normal for me. But last July my husband decided he had had enough and started on the path to sobriety he was doing very well and then the pink fluffy cloud lifted and he became frustrated and easily agitated. I knew it was a matter of time before he would fall and he did. This past Wednesday he holed himself up in a hotel room and did some serious damage. Thankfully he came home the same day and luckily without injuring/killing anyone on the roads. Anger was my first reaction, at one point I did punch him in the face... then I went through the what could I have done to keep this from happening. I called his sponsor to let him know what had happened and then waited for him to pass out which he did and what did I do, I ate- I wish there was a switch to turn off the emotional eating, instead I have to reprogram myself so that I do something else when I'm emotional. I have a treadmill and I had been using that but it got old fast- I guess I need to dust it off and saddle up and get back on there otherwise I will be back in the 200's real fast.
He has been going to meetings since he woke up on Thursday and is back on the road to recovery. I had even gone with him to his first meeting after falling off the wagon. They were so happy that he found his way back and were proud of supporting him through this. I married him for better or worse and in sickness and health- and alcoholism is a sickness.
I haven't worked out since Wednesday and I feel like crud because of it. I have been kinda of hoping to have that "tight" feeling that so many feel when stressed but no, I am still able to shovel it in. I have done a bit better today food wise, well I did until I decided to get pizza, cake and snacks for my boys and their friend for the friends birthday (his dad really fell through so I took it upon myself to make sure he had a nice celebration). I started out with 2 slices of pizza- still within my calories for the day but then I had another slice and some wings and some cheesy puffs not to mention the cake....oh the cake- so yummy. I am already experiencing a headache brought on by the sugar rush that I am not used to.
But tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start. I can get over this emotional turmoil without binging on food. I will find better ways to cope. I am worth the effort, the sweat and the tears.
Thanks for reading- hope you're having a good weekend.

Weigh in day

The weather here has been glorious here in Las Vegas- there are some perks to living in the dessert. So yesterday I spent a few hours out in the yard raking and cleaning up- I personally hate the sun- pale pasty white girl and big ball of fire in the sky  do not get along well, but I actually enjoyed the sun yesterday (but I did get a little pink in my cheeks). This enjoyment could be because I'm losing my natural insulation and can tolerate the heat a bit better, I guess the real test will be this summer when we hit 120. But anyways that's how I got my sweat on yesterday.
Today I dropped the princess off at pre school and spent an hour and a half getting my sweat on- burned 430 calories and I feel good. I'm incorporating more weights to help tone up the loose parts that come with the territory.
I was shocked that I actually lost weight this past week - I have been pretty sloth like and grazing like crazy. But I lost 1.2 pounds bringing me to 176.8; that's just one pound away from 40 pounds lost since surgery, but my friend pointed out to me that I am not losing pounds - because when something is lost you tend to find it, no I am shedding, terminating, killing, destroying them- whatever the word, they are gone and as God as my witness I will never see those pounds again.
Hope you're all having a great week so far. Thanks for stopping by.

Weekends kill me

What is it about weekends that turns me into a starving sloth? I eat my meal and then think to myself I didn't eat near enough that I should have knowing that I have and I go back for more or worse I graze. I don't keep a lot of crap in the house and what little I do is for the kids and not appealing to me at all but I do have a collection of fiber one brownie bars, skinny cow candy/ice cream and the weight watchers ice cream... I figure if I am going to snack I want something tasty and not too horrible...well it tends to be horrible when you keep reaching into the box to get another brownie or ice cream. And the fact that I slack off on getting my sweat on (unless you count my recent hot flashes). I need to get out of this rut and do something on the weekends, well everyday to keep me busy and out of the kitchen. I know I'm not hunrgy I'm bored and instead of getting creative and doing something I eat.
What do you do to keep from eating? I know I can not be the only one out there that goes through this.
well thats all for now- I am really hoping that my grazing doesn't tilt the scale in the other direction, I guess I will have to wait until Tuesday to find out.
Thanks for reading- hope you had a great and productive weekend.

day from hell... so far

Well it didn't start that way, started as it always does to my daughter waking me up at 7:15 wanting to watch her show that doesn't start until 8:30. Got the boys out to school, layed in bed for a little bit then to the couch (my new couch, and yes I love it) decided that the house wasn't going to clean itself so off the couch I go. The house was clean and then I went to vacuum... but instead of sucking my vacuum was blowing- we just got this vacuum 6 months ago and just replaced the filters a few weeks ago. I was working perfectly the other day but not today. Then I went and met the hubs for lunch at a little Mexican hole in the wall just around the corner from us. The food was awesome and I ate way too much, I took some home but still too much at one time. Got home and decided that my mobile trash heap of a van needed to be cleaned out, got that done and decide to try and unjam the DVD player... no go. At this point I hear my daughter screaming bloody murder- she had slammed her finger in the front door to the house. Got her all cleaned up and better just in time to get to her "sing and shout class" at the rec center- but my car decided it was done as in dead, would not start. So i plugged in my battery charger and tried that- no go... Now I have a 3 year old screaming in the car because the car is broken and she can't get to class. My mother in law who lives 2 streets over and is usually always home was out at the store and the hubs was back across town so no class today. Then there is my cookie dog, she is a 16 year old shepard/lab mix that my husband adopted for me around our first Christmas that we were married- she is getting worse every day- hubs and I are starting to really think that it is her time. She is blind in one eye can hardly see out of the other, can hardly hear, her back hips are really bad that she has a tendency to slip and fall when climbing the 4 steeps into the house and she can't control her bowels - the thought of putting her down seems so selfish but to keep her in the condition that she is in just because also seems selfish.  Oh and my sister called to tell me that she is going to have to find a new place for our mom (she is in a full time memory care facility) becuase they keep raising the rates. She had lived with my sister for almost 4 years before we decided that she needed to professional care and now we need to start over and find her another place to live.
So that brings us to now- I have just eaten a skinny cow ice cream sandwich and am trying to keep from eating my frustrations. I am ready to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and hide- thank goodness nap time is a half hour away.
ok... thats all for now- i just hope the rest of March gets better.
Thanks for reading my rant- I really hope you are all having a much better day than I am. Have a great weekend.

weigh in day

This morning I got on the scale and it read 178 a loss of 4.8 pounds since last week. I guess that fill I got last week helped more than I thought. Only 2 more pounds to get to 40 pounds lost.

Today was the first day of pre school for the princess- she is usually an early bird and wakes me up between 7 and 7:30 but today on her first day I had to go and wake her up at 8- figures.
I was a total wreck but kept calm. She on the other hand was having more fun than I care to admit. Being the clingy mom that I am I stayed at the rec center the entire time (3.5 hours) and 3 of those I was in the gym getting my sweat on; nothing too strenuous- the elliptical, the bike and the treadmill.... I am already feeling it. I planned on going again tomorrow, not nearly as long- just to get some cardio in and some toning... but right now I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure I will go.

Then tonight I took the princess for her first swim lesson- a mommy and me kinda thing, she loved it- I had a hard time getting her out of the water. I sense a lot of time at the rec center pool this summer.

Well that's all for now. Hope you're having a great week. Thanks for reading.