Saturday, March 9, 2013

Been a hellofa week

I have mentioned in past posts that my husband is a recovering alcoholic. He did most of his drinking at home and was never abusive.He would drink and then pass out either on the couch or in the room and then after the kids were in bed I would eat out of loneliness. Having grown up in an alcoholic household this was the normal for me. But last July my husband decided he had had enough and started on the path to sobriety he was doing very well and then the pink fluffy cloud lifted and he became frustrated and easily agitated. I knew it was a matter of time before he would fall and he did. This past Wednesday he holed himself up in a hotel room and did some serious damage. Thankfully he came home the same day and luckily without injuring/killing anyone on the roads. Anger was my first reaction, at one point I did punch him in the face... then I went through the what could I have done to keep this from happening. I called his sponsor to let him know what had happened and then waited for him to pass out which he did and what did I do, I ate- I wish there was a switch to turn off the emotional eating, instead I have to reprogram myself so that I do something else when I'm emotional. I have a treadmill and I had been using that but it got old fast- I guess I need to dust it off and saddle up and get back on there otherwise I will be back in the 200's real fast.
He has been going to meetings since he woke up on Thursday and is back on the road to recovery. I had even gone with him to his first meeting after falling off the wagon. They were so happy that he found his way back and were proud of supporting him through this. I married him for better or worse and in sickness and health- and alcoholism is a sickness.
I haven't worked out since Wednesday and I feel like crud because of it. I have been kinda of hoping to have that "tight" feeling that so many feel when stressed but no, I am still able to shovel it in. I have done a bit better today food wise, well I did until I decided to get pizza, cake and snacks for my boys and their friend for the friends birthday (his dad really fell through so I took it upon myself to make sure he had a nice celebration). I started out with 2 slices of pizza- still within my calories for the day but then I had another slice and some wings and some cheesy puffs not to mention the cake....oh the cake- so yummy. I am already experiencing a headache brought on by the sugar rush that I am not used to.
But tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start. I can get over this emotional turmoil without binging on food. I will find better ways to cope. I am worth the effort, the sweat and the tears.
Thanks for reading- hope you're having a good weekend.